So I'm sure as you can see I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, this is mainly down to the fact that once again I have been struggling to sleep. This is something I have struggled with constantly since the event.
It's not so much staying awake all night it's more struggling to drift off then when I do waking up every couple of hours, I have been taking over the counter sleep remedies, using hot water bottles and even tried warm milk (rock and roll I know) honestly some nights it works others it doesn't.
As per my original post I am still trying to deal with things without medication, with the 1st year fast approaching this may be something that I have to consider, I don't know how I will deal with the situation. I am proud of how I've dealt with it so far and my personal opinion is to try without the last thing you need is to become dependent on medication.
Something that recently really helped me was the programme Cucumber on channel 4, there was a line that really touched me:
"It's not my fault, I know I should say that and then hide away in a dark room and blame myself but it's not my fault"
That to me is everything, exactly how I've been feeling for this last year, and somehow hearing it made me feel a million times better.
I've realised I do need to tell myself this every day.
Lauren xx
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